So, what happens when you throw summer school into an already busy life? Crazy acceleration! My summer algebra class started June 22nd and runs through August 16th. My daughter in law, Emily, said it would be a difficult schedule but worth it since I’d get a lot done in a short amount of time. That sounded great to me as I’m already going to be 50 before I get my degree. I’m “burnin daylight” as my Grandfather would say! She’s absolutely right though: I’m very happy with getting an entire semester under my belt in two months and will probably do it again next summer.
So far, I’ve done just fine with the class and am keeping up with my business as well. Everything else, including the garden, has fallen by the wayside for the most part. Yoga class will be there when I’m ready to go back and my friends have all been understanding. Tom has filled in where he can: I never miss a meal even though I could probably stand to skip a couple. teehee. Even the garden is holding steady on her own.
Oh, how I miss the garden! When I go outside these days, I have just enough time to make sure everything is watered and not being eaten alive by snails, then it’s back in to do homework or something equally “chore-y”. There hasn’t been much sunshine in my San Diego neighborhood for the last month or so, so things are ripening but doing so a bit less aggressively than usual at this time of year. It has occurred to me that this may be a gift in disguise…nature slowing things down so I can catch up? Why not!
The downside of the cloudy/fogginess has been that my squash aren’t doing well at all and my tomatoes and roses are getting mildew. But for now, I’m going to trust nature and wait. The sun will come out eventually and she, in all her wisdom, will compensate with extra good sunshine love. All will be well and I needn’t interfere. Right?
There was a moment a week or so ago when I panicked and threw one of those ‘inner temper tantrums’. Questioning myself; why did i take all of this on? can I pull it off? what was I thinking? everything is going to die off in the garden and my orchids are turning yellow and all because I overextended myself. my clients will suffer and my husband will run away and my friends will hate my guts! when will I catch up? NEVER! Then I realized I was being a big whiny baby and told myself to shut the hell up.
Am I not the woman I wanted to be when I was little and tried hard to see my future? There’s a business that I enjoy with my husband, a family that loves me, faithful and supportive friends, a home I’m proud of and a garden….the garden. I’m in college now and fulfilling the dream of a lifetime, getting a degree. None of this came out of giving up or being a wimp. I’m all grown up…so shut up and deal with it and trust yourself. Be patient with yourself and try to enjoy the journey for a change! I had to tell myself these things out loud because the noise of my doubt was drowning out the peace of mind I should have had. Then, I came across this article and the picture made me laugh. Are you the person you always thought you wanted to be when you ‘grew up’? How far off are you? Is it better than you ever dreamed of? It’s not too late to congratulate yourself or get back on track. It’s never too late to believe in yourself, especially if you think you’re all grown up…which you never really are, are you?!
So yes, it’s been quite challenging…But, I can do whatever the hell I set my mind to if I’m willing to work hard enough, and I am! So there, Self! Neener Neener! Time to look those challenges right smack in the eyeball and tell em how it’s gonna be! and then go to bed early….
* all of today’s garden photos are from 2007, one of my favorite summers in the garden.