Keep your face always toward the sunshine – and shadows will fall behind you. – Walt Whitman
Everyone goes through those phases when the thoughts, details and duties of life start to pile up and you know you’ll never catch up ever again. It feels like you’re in a swimming pool full of Styrofoam packing peanuts, instead of water, and your innermost thoughts get bitchier by the minute. (no? just me?) There’s no use wiggling either, you’ll just sink deeper. Working from home, I gain the added bonus of becoming moderately agoraphobic, claustrophobic and anti-social. Yes, I am a lunatic, but I’m not the only one in the world goes buggy from being in an office too long. Reality begins to warp on you if you don’t step outside once in a while.
Today, I stepped out for the first time in several days. After sitting in the back yard for about five minutes, I realized I hadn’t been breathing well and my shoulders were up under my earlobes. Sitting in my green rocking chair with the sun on my face, letting my toes play with the grass under my feet (it’s 75 degrees!) my mind started to calm down and I could hear fewer voices in there. As I filled my lungs with the scent of damp earth and fresh firewood, a motley flock of birds chirping around Tom’s birdseed filled my ears with – well you know what birds sound like and I’m getting carried away with the poetry anyway. The point is, five minutes sittin there thinkin bout flowers sure does put you in a better mood!
The problems of the world around me weren’t gone, but I accidentally forgot all about them for a minute. If you don’t do that you’re going to collapse from the weight of it all. Maybe this is why I love so much to garden. My thoughts actually make sense to me out there in the dirt, they’re sometimes even beautiful. Many of my deepest, darkest and dearest memories live in the roots of that garden. Talking to worms and flowers about my troubles makes me more compatible with human-folk. It’s the one place I can truly focus on what I’m doing and not get distracted or critical.